Taking Accountability to Build Trust

Gill's journey to valuing accountability began during his high school years. As he shared, "I know one thing for me with taking accountability, it was a little bit of a journey to get there. Um, I guess some people maybe start out as kids and they're just boom, I'm taking accountability out of the womb, not my case." The path to understanding and embracing accountability is unique to each individual and can commence at various stages of life.

For Stoeber, this realization came later, around her 30s. She candidly reflected on her earlier "hotshot" mentality in her 20s, a period characterized by a feeling of infallibility and a diminished capacity for truly listening to others. She stated, "I was like this young hotshot kid, you know, in my 20s…you feel like you know everything. No one can be wrong. You're always right. And that no one else's opinion really matters." This honest self-assessment underscores the transformative power of time and experience in shaping our understanding of learning to take accountability.

Stoeber attributed her shift in perspective to a change in her work environment, where the pressure eased, allowing for greater self-reflection and a newfound openness to feedback. She said, "It gave me the ability to start listening to people and taking in their words and everything that they are trying to tell me and trying to help me grow." A supportive and less pressurized environment can be conducive to learning to take accountability.

The discussion consistently circled back to the fundamental role of respect in taking accountability. Stoeber articulated, "Whenever you take accountability to me, it's showing that you have the respect for the people you work with, the respect for the people you're talking to and that you want them to trust you." Acknowledging our part in a situation, whether positive or negative, is an act of respect towards those around us.

Conversely, avoiding taking accountability can be detrimental to building and maintaining trust. As Stoeber pointed out, "...if you walk into a conversation and you don't take that accountability and you're just essentially trying to push off the blame onto other people…people seem not to trust you anymore. They don't want to talk to you…because you've now created this barrier." A lack of taking accountability can sever connections and hinder effective communication.

Barone further highlighted this link, explaining that acknowledging that our own actions, regardless of whether the outcome is favorable or unfavorable, can lead to a particular situation, problem, or occurrence is fundamental. Understanding this direct cause-and-effect relationship is key to truly taking accountability and shows consideration for the resulting impact of our conduct.  

The First Step Towards Accountability

The ability to take accountability is closely linked to our level of self-awareness. As our guest noted, "...if you don't acknowledge that you need to take accountability, then you're not going to provide it." Truly understanding how others perceive our actions and words requires active listening and a willingness to look inward, fostering greater self-awareness.

Stoeber underscored the value of taking a deliberate pause to reflect before responding, particularly when emotions are high, as a vital element of maintaining professionalism. This mindful strategy paves the way for a more thoughtful and accountable response.  

She further emphasized the concept of temporarily disengaging to gather one's thoughts, drawing from her spouse's practice: "Sometimes you have to just get up, walk away, come back, talk about the situation. And that's just a very okay thing to do." This proactive step helps prevent impulsive reactions and ensures that responses are more measured and less likely to lead to regret, contributing to maintaining professionalism.

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While acknowledging our own missteps is a significant step in learning to take accountability, there are also some complexities when holding yourself accountable and holding others accountable. Gill observed, "...at least for me…taking accountability for myself is the easiest. Not that it is easy, but it is easier than holding somebody else accountable.”

There are a few strategies for effectively holding others accountable, including:  

• Leading by example, as consistently demonstrating taking accountability sets a standard for the team or relationship.  

• Using clear and respectful communication, focusing on objective facts and shared goals rather than personal attacks.

• Providing specific examples and evidence to help clarify expectations and facilitate understanding.  

• Seeking external perspectives from trusted colleagues or mentors for valuable insights on how to handle difficult peer dynamics and encourage learning to take accountability.  

Promoting honesty is a cornerstone of trust and accountability in the workplace. Gill stated, "...if you're honest, as a team leader or as a leader or manager, whatever your title is, and you really push that with your team or the people you work with, it will all slowly fall into line." A culture of honesty fosters an environment where individuals feel safer admitting mistakes and holding themselves accountable.

Navigating the Challenges of Holding Superiors Accountable

There is a common hesitation in holding managers or those in higher positions accountable. Our guest offered encouraging advice: "Don't be afraid. We're all human. And so don't be afraid of your manager. They're there to support you." Open communication and framing concerns constructively is important. A supportive manager should be receptive to feedback and understand the importance of accountability in the workplace at all levels.

Barone echoed this, sharing her own commitment to being held accountable by her team: "I always tell my team to let me know because I want to be held accountable at the same standard." This underscores the importance of upward communication and the potential for positive change when concerns are raised respectfully, fostering a stronger sense of accountability.  

Barone offered a powerful reframe of taking accountability, suggesting that "...accountability is truly just a way to show someone how much they mean to you." Having difficult conversations and addressing mistakes, while sometimes uncomfortable, demonstrates a genuine commitment to the other person's growth and the health of the relationship. This is a crucial aspect of fostering accountability in the workplace and in personal life.

Embracing feedback, even when it stings, is an opportunity for learning and development. Shifting the mindset from viewing accountability as an attack to seeing it as guidance and support is crucial for fostering a culture where constructive criticism is valued. This promotes a more positive and growth-oriented approach to taking accountability.

The journey of taking accountability is an empowering one that’s rooted in respect and nurtured through open communication. Accountability fosters trust, strengthens relationships, and drives professional growth. The benefits are significant, impacting not only our work lives but also our personal connections.